The painting has a life of its own.
Jackson Pollock

Do you ever feel like you are being punished for trying to do a worthy thing? Like serve your art in your own humble way?
Trying to go to ballet today, I met with numerous hazards.
First, the 202 was under major construction. I had to take an extensive detour and arrived late. When you are late to ballet, everyone stares at you. Obviously, if you can't even get to class on time, you are doomed as a dancer.
Then, I realized I left my class card at home. You buy a card because it is less expensive, and easy to have signed before you enter class. So I was late, and scrounging through my purse for loose change to pay for the session.
By the time I entered the room, I felt like exclaiming, "GUYS. I just want to dance."
Then, I was in such a fluster trying to find a place at the bar (very crowded class today), I forgot to put my hair up. So I'm bending and stretching and committing another horrible faux pas, letting your hair fly all about as you dance in class. As soon as I had a break, I got my bag and put my hair up.

Even though I got off to a rough start, I had a good class in the end. I think that the roads and the card issue and the hair were all like dragons I had to pass to get to hidden jewels of knowledge. It had something to do with a book I am reading, given to me by a very good friend. The jewel was: Dance is about creating beauty. I often get caught up in the competition of it, which is so prevalent in ballet. Oh my gosh, her leg is so much higher than mine. Oh bother, look how high she jumps.

This kind of thinking is destructive, not creative. So today, this was the lesson I was reminded of, and it was kind of amazing, because I think my teacher noticed. Strangely enough, she just started talking about beauty and how she doesn't care if our foot work is perfect; the important thing is to make it beautiful; the important thing is to dance.

Pan Pan playing with my skirts.

Side note: I have been reading some friend's blogs, and it seems as though the poor things can't sleep. I often suffer from this, but the other day (night actually), I created a drink that, while rich, will get you back to sleep. Don't worry about the decadence of it. It will help you sleep, and you can go to the store for light, healthy food and exercise in the morning, when you feel rested.

Tiffany's Sleepy Drink

3/4 cup whole milk
1/4 teaspoon quality vanilla
(I just read that cheap vanilla is a byproduct from paper mills. Don't do it. I like William's Sonoma brand.)
1/4 teaspoon dried rose, crushed with a mortar and pestle
1 teaspoon honey
1 teaspooon sugar
One small pat of butter

Bring all ingredients to a simmer. This is so delicious and comforting. So treat yourself to a good night's rest, fair ladies.